11.01.2006

It was like sitting at the airport, and having a casual conversation with any of a great number of people sitting there, waiting. He asked me a question. I responded at length. I went on and on, analyzing and commenting, providing the information more for myself than in response to his query.

After I had responded to the first question, he smiled and interjected a second question. I specifically remember having to give this question some thought before responding. Again, I went on at length expounding and explaining. The questions were simple and direct. Why it took so many words to respond to each one, I couldn't figure out. Yet here I was, speaking and speaking and speaking. With the conversation, I also felt healing taking place.

I finally finished my response to the second question, when he quietly asked the third question. It took several minutes for me to respond. I felt the third question pierce me like an arrow, realizing that none of the questions had really been personal. But they came at a moment when their relation to one another made the most sense. Before even considering the response to the third and final question, I stood up and broke apart into 6 pieces.

Well, It's dreamworld stuff - and my right arm flew off, representing someone who was near and dear to me at the time of the dream. My right arm is shorter than my left, due to the congenital defect of an ulna that grew out at the elbow, rather than extend correctly. It's a defective arm, handicapped to a degree. And it represented a friendship that was also handicapped.

My left arm also flew away, representing a healthy being, a healthy friendship with yet another person near and dear. But because it was my left arm, which I've always maintained as being less than functional - as a right-hander! - I couldn't do much with it.

Both legs also flew in different directions. One represented a healthy friendship with a young lady, and the other a poor friendship with yet another young lady. They were both important to my life, had kept me going for a while, and were of seemingly great value as people and as friends. But where I went was more directed by their presences than by my own pace and direction.

My torso also broke away, and my head flew up into the clouds. My torso represented a spiritual friendship of many years, and it was one upon which I had fed and grown fat throughout its time. My head represented an intellectual friendship, also of many years, and its haughtiness made no sense with the reality of the moment.

What was left after these pieces broke away was myself. It was my basic self, living me, for me, because of me, through me. All the life that I had given to others and all the stress I maintained for others was gone. My body stood up off the bench, and my mouth screamed "Mama!" And there I was.

The other being was still there when I looked around. He simply stated: "Physician, Heal Thyself." Then he disappeared. And I was reborn.